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Small town survival and fighting off the bandits

From crack to corn
Dr. Strangelove

My family and I live in an old house, in a small town in North Carolina.  We've been here over 20 years now.  The town we live in is surrounded by farms that are run by people who know what they're doing.  I've had a brown thumb all my life and a glorious plan to turn the back yard into a showplace.  Instead, I've turned it into a mini farm.  We adapt, right?

 The land here is really fertile. Things sprout up out of nowhere, like the blackberries that showed up in my rose garden in 2008.  There isn't a blackberry bush within 50 miles of here, but there she was, choking out my glorious roses.  I beat it back then, after many tries.  Now, I wish that damned blackberry bramble would show up again.

I filled the back yard with corn and beans.  They seem to grow well here, judging by the productivity of the local farms.  Like I said, I have no experience farming, and every houseplant I've ever touched has died.  I'll hope for the best at every planting.

The corn grows small here, not like those gargantuan stalks that grew in daddy's home town in Nebraska.  But it's just as tasty, as I proved by presenting a few early ears at dinner tonight.  Unfortunately, when I got up in the middle of the night, I heard a noise in the back yard.  I peeked out through the kitchen door and sure enough, somebody was out in the garden scavanging what few ears of corn were ripe.

When we first moved here, the battles were always against the crackheads.  They'd break into your garage at any opportunity.  Surprising for a small town, but there was also a thriving meth lab business here.  Now, it's the garden raiders.  I went out with the shotgun and his butt off.  Then I picked up the ears of corn he had dropped and went back inside.

I sent David to Lowes for some barbed wire and fencing.  I'll go later to get some ammo.  I'm lucky Daddy left me all those guns.

Back when we were poor, I'd go without a meal or two every day, to make sure the kids had what they needed.  I have no problem doing that now.  It's the kids I really worry about.  They're smart and strong and I spent my life preaching about college and good grades and being decent.  Now, the only thing I have left to teach them is that there is no good life and they have to do whatever they can to survive.  Nice.

You're gonna love this though.  Everybody in the family loves mushrooms, right?  So, I went to the guy who owns the drive-thru sandwich place on the highway.  He was in Nam and he knows all about camping and survivalism and stuff.  He helped me pick out which mushrooms are safe to eat, and we planted some spores in big flats up in the attic.  it was unused space anyway.  Now, it's a big fat mushroom farm and there are so many of them, I think I can trade some for meat or something.  I'd love to be able to have burgers for Bill's birthday.

Now, if David would just get back with the barbed wire so I can come in out of the sun, the day will go okay.

Oct 16
survival,home gardens,bandits,small town


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